Would You Like Me Better if I Could do This?

Well I can't. So I guess we're still on the same page.

An Important Discovery

This is the one tiny mirror that resides in my room that I share with one other person.

Guess what. There are no plugs by it.

Guess what else. There are no plugs in either of the bathrooms. What? How do they expect us to do our hair?

Well the other day, my roommate discovered something that pretty much saved us:

Do you see that? Right on that light there is a plug! Right above the mirror.

Why do they not give us a manual with this room? How did they expect us to find that?

Well, find it we did and now our hair gets done.

Isn't that lovely.

Thoughts on Being a Grown-Up

You know what's weird about being moved out and on your own? No one knows/cares where you are ever. You can do absolutely whatever you want whenever you want and you don't have to report back to anyone. Ever.

When I lived at home I thought I had freedom. I didn't really have to "report" as I just called it and I could basically do what I wanted. But I didn't realize that I was always asking my mom if I could do something or telling her what I just did or telling her what I was going to do.

Yesterday I went on a hike with 5 other people. I didn't ask my mom if I could go. I didn't tell her where I was going or who I was going with. And when I got back a few hours later, I did not tell her what I just did. And if she never reads this post, she will never know that I went on that hike.

Is that not insane?! And what's even weirder is that I love it. I LOVE it.

And if you know me, you know I am attached to my mother. Apparently I'm not as attached as we all thought. I think that is a good thing. Don't you?

Also, for the past couple weeks I have had this very strong craving to ride on the back of a motorcycle. I just want to. And when the opportunity presents itself, I'm going to take it. And guess what. My mother is not going to know. Not that I'm hiding it, it's just that I'm not going to call her up and tell her about it. I'm just going to do it.

That is what I love about living here.

So, here's to my new life as a free woman.

Ok so I've never actually given birth...

*Disclaimer: This post may contain a little TMI so if you don't wanna hear it, don't read it. Also, despite how it may sound, I'm not complaining, because it was totally worth it. I'm just saying it in a way so as to make it a little more entertaining, if possible. Okay? Please, continue.

This is my chica. My mother birthed her nearly 2 years ago. Lucky for me, I got to hear some of the horror stories that come along with releasing a human from your insides. Let's just say, I'm never having kids.

Jk jk, but really. It does not sound fun.

So a few days ago I had the opportunity of going boating. It was insanely fabulous. It was warm and sunny and the water was just great.

Part way through the afternoon, I decided to take a ride on the tube with my roommate. She sat on the right, I sat on the left. It's really not relevant what side we were on, I just thought you might want to know.

So we were going along and it was crazy and bumpy and fun and then the tube flipped and we both fell in. This is to be expected.

But what was not to be expected was the horrible pain I felt coming from down under.

When I landed on the water it was kind of sideways and pretty much my cheeks just split. Right down the middle.

Ya.

And there was the HUGEST wedgie in the whole entire world to accompany it.

Ya.

So it hurt like crazy.

But whatev right? This is boating and this is just what happens.

So I got over it and forgot about it and it didn't hurt for the rest of the day. But then I got home. And guess where I had to go.

The bathroom.

But I wasn't too reluctant because, like I said, I forgot about the whole thing like 2 seconds after it happened.

So I went. And guess what.

Ya.

Um, that blood is most CERTAINLY not monthly. And it hurt like crazy. Again.

So I thought to myself, "This has to be what it's like after you give birth! This hurts so bad. And it's not like I can just hold it in. I have to go to the bathroom."

The next day, same thoughts, followed by, "How is this going to heal? I go to the bathroom and it splits and then it heals a bit, but then I have to go to the bathroom again and it just splits again! This is so not normal."

Well folks, I am here to tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have no idea where that light came from because, really, it doesn't make sense. At all. I mean, WHERE did it find time to heal??

No se Jose.

So if that can heal, giving birth can heal, and I know I can handle it.

But look what else happened:

Do you see that? Is that not creepy? Here's a closer look:

Those are not water spots.

I have no idea what to call those. Blisters? It was a slight sunburn and now it's this. This has never happened to me. I have no idea what to do.

Whatev.

This too will heal and all will be well.

Aside from all that, boating was fab and I would highly recommend it. So go.

You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you

For the sake of your privacy I will refer to you in this post as GB.

First of all, since I haven't seen you in real life for almost a month, and have had little but this small cellular device in which to communicate with you, I've snapped a few shots of my life for you to enjoy:

This is the very first strawberry on our strawberry plant on the back deck.

This is the Norm cat. He is not in his natural habitat, as you can see. He hates being on the deck. I forced him out there for the integrity of the photograph.

This is Jacky. He just got a new hair cut. Poor Jack wasn't blessed with good looks or brains. As you can see, he thinks this clod of dirt is edible.

This is my poor car, Rosa, who is currently out of commission.

I guess while I'm waiting for the above pictures to upload, I'll tell you a little about what happened to me after the parents came home on my babysitting excursion today.

So, our characters are Faith and Nathan, who are Elliot's parents. Elliot is the one I usually babysit. Nathan's sister, Gwen, and her husband are in town this week, and their children are Eve, Eleanor, and Sam. As you know, and to my extreme delight, Eleanor and Sam are named for Lord of the Rings characters. When the four parents got home from dinner, I told Gwen that Eleanor had told me where her name came from. She was so embarrased, but then I smiled real big and assured her that I am a LOTR fan, and that she need not worry. She then proceeded to tell me that her middle name is Arwen! Remember Arwen?

I love meeting people with a kindred love toward the best movie of all time. Just as long as they aren't crazy die-hards. I know you think I'm a crazy die-hard, but crazy die-hard I am not. I will never be able to explain to you the bond LOTR and I have, but I can assure that it is not an irrational one and it is completely healthy. That reminds me, Lord of the Rings has been on my mind a lot lately. I still need to watch it. My sense of self is slipping away every day.

Speaking of things on my mind lately...

1. The strange sixth sense I seem to have developed recently. I can seriously SENSE bugs. Those gross little furry bugs that were all over my room a few weeks ago, I can no longer feel, and I haven't seen one lately. When I walked into the bathroom the other day I could sense a big bug in there. I flicked on the light only to find a frappin' cockroach on the rug. A cockroach! I'm kind of creeping myself out.

2. Feminism. I'm trying to grasp the concept, but I just can't. Everyone seems to have their own definition, and each one is uniquely different.

3. Peaches. I want a peach so bad. But my mother tells me they're not in season.

4. The ratio of black guys at USU vs BYU. I'm kind of jealous of you, GB. I've seen like, three chocolate men on BYU campus, and each time they pass I feel a little twang of sadness thinking about how for every one here, there has (have?) got to be 10 at USU.YUM.

5. Money. I am so stressed about money. If I don't get his Pell Grant I have no idea how I'm going to pay for school. I'm almost crying here thinking about it.

6. I've used up all my tricks, I hope that you like this, but you probably won't, you think you're cooler than me. You never say "hey" or remember my name, probably cuz you think you're cooler than me.

7. Handshaking. I've always wanted to be one of those people who reaches out for a handshake when introduced to someone, but I'm just not.

8. Making a difference. You have no idea how much I need to make a difference in the world. And I have no idea how to go about that.

9. Wisdom teeth. Mine really need to be pulled.

10. Cleaning my room. It needs a little TLC. Warning: Mess in image may be even bigger than it appears.

Well, GB, it's 10:12 p.m. I've been at this for nearly 2 hours. Who knew that blogging could take so much time and energy? Good thing I don't have one.

P.S.- I do not need you to point out any grammatical, punctuational, or content errors in this post.

When You're the Best of Friends

Today is the half birthday of my lil red gumball machine.

I will now pay tribute:

Hap ha birt little buddy! Just when I thought there was no hope of ever meeting you, Santa pulled through and now we are together for life. Thanks for putting up with me through thick and thin. High school was good. But now we are in college. I promise to not forget you as I live this grown up phase of my life. I will take you wherever I go. You rock. Have fun being 1.5 for the next 6 months.

The end.

Just Another Average Day in My New Life

Yesterday went approximately like so:

6:25 am - Wake up to the sound of the fire alarm screaming through the whole building.

6:26 am - Drag myself out of bed and down the stairs to sit in the cold with the other residents of this lovely building.

6:34 am - Walk back up to the third floor with the full intention of going back to sleep.

6:36 am - Enter my dorm to find two police.

6:37 am - Hear the news that it was one of my very own beloved roommates who caused the alarm to go off. Apparently she was straightening her hair too close to the alarm. Whatev.

6:38 am - Enter my bed to sleep the morning away.

7:45 am - Wake up to the sound of my cell phone alarm. Get up. Get ready. Go to institute. Do whatever.

12:25 pm - Eat lunch. Write my weekly letter.

1:15 pm - Walk down the street and buy an ice cream cone.

2:07 pm - Sit on the couch to watch my roomie make some grilled cheese.

2:10 pm - Fire alarm goes off. Again. Uh, could it be the burned grilled cheese?

2:11 pm - Evacuate. Again.

2:17 pm - Walk up to the third floor. Again.

2:19 pm - Enter the dorm to find two police.

2:19 pm - Jk there were no police. This time.

2:56 pm - In walks another roommate carrying this precious piece of paper:

3:00 pm - Realization sets in: Tomorrow is when the RA is coming to check our cleaning which we haven't done. But the water is being shut off. So we have to clean tonight.

3:01 pm - Decide to clean later.

5:45 pm - Go downstairs to check the availability status of the laundry room. 100% free. Sweet!

5:46 pm - Go back upstairs to get my stash of towels that need washing.

5:50 pm - Return to the laundry room to find that in the five minutes I was gone, BOTH washers were taken. Great.

5:52 pm - Go back upstairs to wait an hour.

6:47 pm - Head downstairs with towels in hand. Washers free. Fill one with towels. Spend five minutes figuring out how to work the dang machine. Figure it out. Sweet. Sit at the table to wait for the 42 min cycle to run through.

7:36 pm - There's a problem.

My towels are done. They need a dryer.

The dryer is full of someone else's clothes.

7:39 pm - Put the basket on top of the dryer to good use by putting these clothes in it.

7:41 pm - Put my towels in the dryer and sit back for another 42 min cycle. Use my time wisely.

8:32 pm - Hike back up to my room.

8:39 pm - Begin CLEANING. Somehow I was put in charge of all the jobs we don't have cleaning supplies for, including (among other things):

Kitchen. No broom. Sweep with paper towel.

Bathroom. No broom. Sweep with paper towel.

No toilet brush. Clean with bare hand.

9:30 pm - Done cleaning. Goodnight.

To Rhyme is a Crime

Dear GP,

I have come up with a poem in honor of your date tonight:

There once was a girl in college.

She was full of knowledge.

Her Freshman year was going fine,

When she decided to upgrade it to divine.

She had an intense internal struggle when a boy,

Asked her on a date and said it would bring him much joy.

She wanted so badly to say no no no.

But her "Yes" policy forbid her to do so.

So yes she said, and prepared to meet,

The boy named Brett who would sweep her off her feet.

Tuesday, 7 finally rolled around,

She made sure to be home so she could be found.

By this date who would take her for some fun,

That hopefully would involve being in the sun.

The doorbell rang, he was at the door.

She was so nervous, she nearly hit the floor.

But when she saw what he did bring,

Her heart was so happy, she thought she might sing.

The flowers were such a pretty sight,

This was sure to be an awesome night.

Then off they went to hit the town,

But they got stuck in something brown.

Mud. That is what it was.

And stick to mud is what a tire does.

So stick it did for hours on end,

Until for help this Brett did send.

Help arrived at half past ten,

But it was time to head home then.

At the porch they said goodnight,

Then parted ways {they chose the right}.

She put her shoes upon the shelf,

And then she thought to herself:

"While this date was good, make no mistake,

He just wasn't quite as good as Jake."

The end.

Dear Wart Remover,

I hate you.

You are dumb.

Do you not know that I am a poor college student who does not want to buy the real thing?

Do you not know that as a poor college student, I do not own one of those green sticky things OR a pair of pliers?

Do you not see the dumb wart on my finger that gets bigger everyday?

Now that you do know, please just open.

None of my love,

Me.

I know what you are thinking

Uh, where did she go?? Is she dead?? Did she forget to come home?? Did I miss something??

Here's the deal. I grew up. It's sad to say, but it's true. I mean, look at me.

Blogging from a laptop while I sit at my desk in my college dorm. COLLEGE.

I am official.

So, welcome to my new life.

Sometime soon here I will post a series of photographs that document a day in my new life. That's what you have to look forward to.

But until then, I bid you adieu.

P.S. GP? Do you see that plante? It's more alive than it's ever been and even now as we speak/read/type it is getting more and more alive. Look at me being all responsible. And you thought I couldn't keep a little plante alive...

Brevity

I love that word.