The other night I dreamed that the bishop ordered everyone in my BYU ward to get married. He assigned all the girls to a husband, and since in my ward, the ratio is 2 girls for every boy, we had to be polygamists. To my utter dismay, UK and I were both assigned to Craig. Before the ceremony took place, UK squeezed into a pair of gray skinny jeans and red heels and applied a thick layer of cherry red lipstick in front of the mirror.
"Are you trying to make him like you better than me?" I asked sourly.
"You have to look good on your wedding day," she replied with a shrug.
We trudged down into this big grassy field, UK all dressed up and me in a big t-shirt and jeans, where everyone and their future spouse(s) were assembled waiting to tie the knot(s).
When everyone had arrived, the bishop asked Craig to say the opening prayer, which went something like this:
"Dear Heavenly Father,
We're grateful for this beautiful day and that we can all..."
Then he opened his eyes and threw his arms in the air and shouted,
"I'm not doing this! This is wrong and I won't stand for it!"
Then we all cheered and ran away.
Everyone was so glad, except UK.
And then I woke up,
so relieved that in real life I don't have to share my future husband with anyone.
Oh ya. I forgot to tell you. Henrietta read this post and about died of laughter. But she thought I wrote it. So I took the credit. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteP.S. It is indeed quite hilarious. I like the title.