The cruelty of humans*

My life got a little more bleak on Thursday. I lost a dear friend, and this dear friend just happens to have four legs and fur.

Yes, earlier in the week I called my mother to discuss the best time for us to go out to lunch, and she shot right into this spiel about how and why she's finally decided to get rid of my dog.



I was so upset, I hung up on her. I'd successfully held this moment off all summer long, but I should have known it was inevitable.

I called her back later and she discussed the finer points of her decision and said she would be taking him on Thursday. She asked me if I wanted to say goodbye and of course I did, so I insisted on riding down with them to Rivedon, to drop Jacky off at his new home. I'm not sure that was entirely intelligent decision on my part, but it was kind of a spur of the moment thing, and so I did it.



Thurday after my first class, I met them in the parking lot. Jacky was jumping up at the window and wagging his little tail like he does. I got in the car and held him all the way to Rivedon. I was able to keep my emotions in check most of the way, but as we neared the house, the tears started to spill over. And when we finally rolled to a stop in front of the house I was a complete mess.

I couldn't pull myself together, even though this complete stranger was standing right there and I thought "she must think I'm crazy."



But she didn't. She just gave me a big long hug and I cried on the shoulder of this woman I'd never met for a true minute. We took Jack to the backyard and he seemed to be enjoying himself. Then we brought him inside to go over the logistics of things, and he laid across my mom's feet like he always does.



Heart Wrenching.



I could not believe we were about to leave him there all alone with this family of strangers. It was criminal.

But we left him anyway.

And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

She was holding him back by the leash as we drove away.

You should have seen the look on his face.

He was so confused and sad and scared.

And he wanted us to come back.

But we didn't.

We just kept driving.

And I regret it.



There are people who argue that animals don't have feelings. But I'm 100% positive that they do. Because this dog's feelings are what keep me up at night. He has no idea what's going on, and he'll never know why we dropped him off at some random house and left him there forever, and he'll never stop waiting for us to come back. It turns my world black when I think about it.



Wow, that was depressing. I'm depressed. I could barely get out of bed this morning. And I hate crying in front of people so I always have to hold it in around my roommates. Ugh. BAD week.









PS: I'm using an * in my titles from now on so you can tell it's me.