Le Plante

I hate to prove you right GP, but look:

This poor little plante that you left in my care is slowly but surely dying.

I thought I could successfully raise this little guy to adulthood, but he's not even making out of his toddler stage.

I have tried all I can think of.

I have given it less water, I have given it more. I have kept it in the sun, and out.

I have given it to my mother to revive. I have given it to my roomies to revive.

Even with soothing words and sweet TLC, this plante refuses to live.

I have a theory. I think a bug is killing it. I'm not even joking. That is the only possible explanation.

Do you see that little bug hole? This is murder I tell you.

I'll invite you to the funeral. But I'd rather you didn't come since it was a gift from you to me. That just makes me feel bad.