Wickedness sometimes is happiness

As you know, I'm in love with Alias. As you also know, I had to wait a week for the third season because some obscure man is one measly season ahead of me. When I was done with season three and went into the library for season four, guess what happened? You're exactly right. It wasn't there. And when I searched the library database I was devastated to discover that it was not due back for another week. So I went home, heartbroken. Throughout the course of the week, I mused about how this situation was not going to work out for me, seeing as I'm leaving for college in a short week and a half and I still have two seasons to feast my eyes upon and I just don't have the time to do all this waiting around.

The next Wednesday, I got a brilliant, albeit malicious idea. Season four was due back the next day, and the man who had it would dump it into the return box and then run to the movie aisle all excited to jump into season five without having to wait ONE DAY.

I'm all for justice in the world, and after spinning the situation through my head I concluded that it was simply not fair for this man to be able to breeze through every season uninterrupted, and I have to wait behind him like an impatient dog every week. So I did it. Even though I had not yet seen season four, I TOOK SEASON FIVE. I know, it was basically a satanic thing to do. But guess how I felt after I checked out those four DVD's that constituted season 5? I was ELATED. I was grinning like a crazy woman walking out of the library. There may even have been a few laugh-out-louds in the car on the way home. Believe it or not, I had done a wicked thing, and I was happy.
I could just visualize that man, dumping season four into the return box the next day, running to the movie aisle, bending down to the lowest shelf in anxious aniticipation. He would trail his pudgy finger across seasons 1, 2, 3....but wait, season 5 was not there! How could that be? He would search again, and then maybe one more time for good measure. Then I would pop up behind him in a ghostly, transparent form and say, "Hello! My name is Indigo Montoyo. You killed my father, prepare to die!"
Jk, jk. I would say "You know, no matter how many times you scan that shelf, season 5 is not going to appear. (*long pause*) Because guess what, you miserable vomitous mass?

I have it.

Muahahahaha!"